Friday, July 18, 2008

Men's Rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

2. Saturday = SPORTS. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

3. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

4. Crying is blackmail.

5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!

6. 'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

7. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

8. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. nod.gif nod.gif nod.gif

9. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

10. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. thumbup.gif

11. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

12. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

13. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

14. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. rclxms.gif rclxms.gif

15. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. whistling.gif

16. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

17. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really.

18. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as: Games, Sport, or Cars.

19. You have enough clothes.

20. You have too many shoes.

21. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.


Anonymous said...

dat's is so0 damn true..=)

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Девушка после миньета лезет целоваться к мужику. Тот уже устал отворачиваться.
Она ему говорит:
- Странный вы народ, мужики. После себя западло, а после других нет.

Я 7 часов блуждала по сети, пока не вышела на ваш форум! Думаю, я здесь останусь надолго!
прошу прощеняи за опенчатки.... очень маленьаая клавиатурм у PDA!